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The Move In.

In my previous post I talked about "5 Things They Don't Tell You About Moving In Together." I wanted to take a step further in today's post to tell you a more detailed account of things I did and have noticed about the days following the move in with my ex (almost) husband.

When we were dating and before we got married my ex (almost) husband was all about getting married after we graduated college and started a career. He was in school to become a physical therapist and it would have taken more than 5 years to complete all the schooling, etc. that he needed to start a career.

... then less than 6 months later we found out that I was pregnant with my now 3 year old... and he proposed. THIS was a red flag for my parents... why I did not listen? I don't know.

I honestly don't even remember them saying anything about it.

Other before we were married things I knew but never addressed... I knew he was a cheater. I found videos, images, text messages, etc. on his p…

Bailed Out.

Continued.... (from the post "Reality Hit").

The day came after ONLY one week without my husband. It was a long week and I was very excited to be picking him up. (Remember: at this point I was convinced that none of these allegations could be true).

Earlier that day myself, my parents, and my husbands parents all met in the same place with a bondsman who was willing to work with us. ONLY because we were referred to him by our neighbor. His words were "I don't normally work with these types of felonies." ....

I arrived (quickly) to the station, that evening, to pay the bondsman. We had set up a payment plan and I was only supposed to be paying a small amount of the total (which was 4000$).

Rewind to when I had picked up the money from his bosses wife. . . we had met at the bank around the corner. She came out of the bank with an envelope. I knew it was a lot of money, but I did not want to take it out and count it. I didn't want to draw attention to myself.

Anyways... so I run into the station and I hand the bondsman the envelope. Next thing I know he is saying "It is all here! you don't owe me anything." I was appalled and surprised and so thankful.

The weeks after he was bailed out are a blur. Our marriage (still new) wasn't anything like you'd imagine. We sat across the room from each other, I was expected to clean and cook and not do anything else with my life, he played video games and never told me anything about his days. Honestly, looking back I can say that we did not talk at all.

I was slowly letting go...

He would come home from a meeting with his lawyer and nothing would be said. He would get angry and frustrated at simple questions. I wanted to know what was going on, but I never truly did know. I still don't know 3 years later what actually happened in the court rooms or meetings.

Then things started getting weird... his phone was locked, he was sleeping on the couch, he was leaving in the middle of the night and not coming home until 5 or 6 in the morning. He kept wanting to be intimate with me and I just wasn't into it. He blamed me for his "sexual tension" and said that God says a wife should give her husband what he wants when he wants it. (I will go more in depth on that topic in a later post).

For weeks it went on like this. and the longer it went on the less and less I cared.

So not only was my marriage falling apart, but I was also on an emotional roller coaster and dealing with this new and weird person who was NOT my husband...

unfortunately he was my husband and everything prior had been a facade. be continued...



  1. […] 3 is Distance and Silence. See remember in one of my earlier posts I told you he was ALWAYS wanting to be intimate and I just wasn’t really that into it? […]


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