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The Move In.

In my previous post I talked about "5 Things They Don't Tell You About Moving In Together." I wanted to take a step further in today's post to tell you a more detailed account of things I did and have noticed about the days following the move in with my ex (almost) husband.

When we were dating and before we got married my ex (almost) husband was all about getting married after we graduated college and started a career. He was in school to become a physical therapist and it would have taken more than 5 years to complete all the schooling, etc. that he needed to start a career.

... then less than 6 months later we found out that I was pregnant with my now 3 year old... and he proposed. THIS was a red flag for my parents... why I did not listen? I don't know.

I honestly don't even remember them saying anything about it.

Other before we were married things I knew but never addressed... I knew he was a cheater. I found videos, images, text messages, etc. on his p…

That Dreaded Day...

More of my story.

I still remember the day (instert husbands name here) decided to take a guilty plea in the court room. I remember the last kiss. The quick peck he gave me in front of the bathroom in the courthouse. I remember knowing exactly what was happening and being terrified ...

I wasn’t even scared of the jail time. I was more afraid of the time after that. The years of probation. The rules sex offenders had to face. The kids? How would he be involved with the kids? Traveling? Would I ever be able to travel? Relocate? Participate in anything outside of our “home?”

We sat in the conference room right outside the courtroom. It was only a few minutes, but it felt like an eternity. My mom was there with me, but I don’t even recall her being in the room at the time.

(Insert husbands name here) and his lawyer were going over the plea bargain and all that it entailed. I was pregannt. With a little over 3 months until my due date, of course I was worried. No one knew if he would be released before I had the baby. All they could do was assure me that it would be a really close chance.

I remember asking why we couldn’t fight it. “why can’t we use all this evidence we have? You said you weren’t guilty.” The answer, to them seemed simple .... he wanted to be there for his family and he wanted all of this “to end.” He was facing 20+ years in prison if he fought the charges. With multiple charges it was likely they wouldn’t all be dropped.
BUT... what did he mean he wanted it all to end? This wasn’t ending any of it? This was giving us a reason to remember this pain and suffering every day of our lives.

Other questions I asked were: “Will you be able to go to the kids sports games, recitals, schools?”
“Will you even be able to get a decent job to provide for us?”


Somehow we got stuck on the fact that in 10+ years the charges could come off his record if he petitioned the court. And if he did such and such paperwork and talked to such and such people he would be allowed at the kids schools....

Okay? But what about playgrounds? Museums? Amusement parks?
He wouldn’t be allowed at the playground. The kids wouldn’t be able to swing in the swingset with their father pushing them anymore. They wouldn’t be able to play tag or walk through the park with him. Anywhere children were normally he wasn’t allowed to go.

He assured me that if he received permission he would be allowed to leave the state. But the rules surrounding that are so broad that we would have to plan for months for even a short trip just to see my family.

In the span of about 10 minutes or less I realized that our entire future was (excuse my language) FUCKED.

And I had no say in the matter. So off to the courtroom we went..,



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