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The Move In.

In my previous post I talked about "5 Things They Don't Tell You About Moving In Together." I wanted to take a step further in today's post to tell you a more detailed account of things I did and have noticed about the days following the move in with my ex (almost) husband.

When we were dating and before we got married my ex (almost) husband was all about getting married after we graduated college and started a career. He was in school to become a physical therapist and it would have taken more than 5 years to complete all the schooling, etc. that he needed to start a career.

... then less than 6 months later we found out that I was pregnant with my now 3 year old... and he proposed. THIS was a red flag for my parents... why I did not listen? I don't know.

I honestly don't even remember them saying anything about it.

Other before we were married things I knew but never addressed... I knew he was a cheater. I found videos, images, text messages, etc. on his p…

5 Things New Moms Never Talk About

Photo Credit Unknown.

Quick Bio

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Breanna C., themedicalmamacom.wordpress.com. (2015)[/caption]
Hi there. My name is Breanna and I am The Medical Mama. I want to first and foremost thank Brittani for allowing me to guest blog today. You can follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, and my own personal site. I am a mother of 2 beautiful little girls. One is 5 years old, and the other is coming March 5th. I have a background in nursing (Pediatrics) and education (K-12). Again, thank you for having me and reading my article today.
Becoming a new mom was one of the hardest things I ever did. There was so much I expected that never happened. Then there was so much I did not expect that happened. I went in to wanting to become a mother with the thoughts of "I was made to be a mom. I'm ready for this. I can do this. There's nothing to it. I have so much experience already with parenting and great examples of how NOT to parent." There were so many emotions I had hoped I felt that I didn't. Every day it was a new challenge I was not prepared for.

1) Birthing Plans Gone Wrong

csection vs normal 
Photo Credit Health Infi, healthinfi.com. (2017)[/caption]
Yes, your birthing plan is not going to go how you originally planned. It's just not. Sorry. If you are fortunate enough to have it go how you want it to you are in a VERY small percentage.
I wanted an all natural birth. By that I mean I wanted to have a natural birth with no drugs to help along the process or help with pain. I ended up having to be induced (strike 1). I had to have pain medication because I was about to rip the railing off of the hospital bed (strike 2). Eventually everything went wrong and I had to have an emergency c-section (strike 3). I know a ton of people who have the same hopes, but end up having to have that episiotomy they didn't want, or they had to have that pain medication they didn't want.

2) Bonding With Your Little One

bonding with your baby 
Photo Credit RCGP, emmasdiary.co.uk. (2016)[/caption]
Bonding with your newborn baby is supposed to be natural...or at least I was always taught that. When they brought her to me I was so scared to hold her. I didn't have an immediate instinct to want her in my arms. I had labored for 15 hours, had an emergency c-section, and it was late at night. She was sleeping and I was so scared she would wake up and cry and I would have NO IDEA how to care for her. My mother instincts I was so sure that I possessed had suddenly vanished.

3) Breastfeeding is Hard!

got milk P
hoto Credit The Medical Mama, themedicalmamacom.wordpress.com. (2018)[/caption]
From my own article on breastfeeding, "We all go in to pregnancy thinking "I am going to breastfeed. That's what I'm doing and I'm not even going to consider the possibility that I can't do it." Those moms are the ones who refuse to buy bottles, nipples, formula, formula accessories, etc. News flash first time moms: It doesn't work that way. No, I am not mom shaming. I love first time moms, and there is NOTHING wrong with being a first time mom. They have no idea yet what parenting really feels like, and they have so much joy to spread. You get to be excited with them. I was a first time mom at one point too. Don't forget that. I love that you have the mentality to go forward with such hope and positivity. It will hopefully get you where you want to go. I know so many women who go in to that mentality (I was definitely one of them) and then were not able to produce the milk like they wanted. Don't think just because you say you are going to that you are actually going to be able to. Your body decides. Not your brain" (The Medical Mama., 2018).

4) So Many Emotions

hormones
Photo Credit someecards. (Unknown)[/caption]
When I got home from the hospital I got in the shower to clean off the hospital smell and get back to feeling like "myself". I remember standing there crying. I was a mess with no sense of WHY I was even upset. All those hormones rushing through your body from being a new mom to your body all of a sudden doing something it wasn't used to doing like making breast milk.
You are going to break down and cry about nothing. Just remember you aren't really upset with your baby or your spouse. This can all be explained by hormones. Make sure you know the difference between baby blues and postpartum depression.

5) Lots of Sleep Deprivation

sleep deprived 

Photo Credit David Wolfe, davidwolfe.com. (2018)[/caption]

The "funny" thing everyone seems to always say to a first time mom is "Sleep while you still can". I never found it that funny, but everyone still seems to think it is. I would say it's more like "Enjoy your sleep while you still can". It's so true though. After you have a baby you are so tired. That does not help at all with what I mentioned in #4. You are hormonal anyways. You add sleep deprivation to that and you have a recipe for one cranky mommy.
No I mean it, you will never feel like you have enough sleep ever again. Baby will eventually start sleeping through the night, but they are still going to need you when they're sick, upset, scared, etc. Nights will be long for the rest of your life.
It's okay to seek help. Ask your spouse for help. Ask your mom or dad for help. If needed go talk to a professional. It is okay for motherhood to not live up to all your expectations. Just know you now have a little human being who needs you. Make sure you are that fantastic role model and put your child's needs first.

Comments

  1. Thank you so much again for having me!

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    1. You are welcome any time! Thank you for sharing with us!

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