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The Move In.

In my previous post I talked about "5 Things They Don't Tell You About Moving In Together." I wanted to take a step further in today's post to tell you a more detailed account of things I did and have noticed about the days following the move in with my ex (almost) husband.

When we were dating and before we got married my ex (almost) husband was all about getting married after we graduated college and started a career. He was in school to become a physical therapist and it would have taken more than 5 years to complete all the schooling, etc. that he needed to start a career.

... then less than 6 months later we found out that I was pregnant with my now 3 year old... and he proposed. THIS was a red flag for my parents... why I did not listen? I don't know.

I honestly don't even remember them saying anything about it.

Other before we were married things I knew but never addressed... I knew he was a cheater. I found videos, images, text messages, etc. on his p…

You are Enough!

I put a lot of thought into this weeks Monday post, because this topic really hit home for me the past few days. . .

This originates from the same place my Monday posts always originate, can you guess?
My failed marriage.

So for starters have you ever been so in love with someone that nothing else matters? So in love that you don't remember what life was like without them? In love to the point that if you no longer had that person you would become lost and depressed?

But at the same time you feel unappreciated, under valued, or not good enough...
That's right you feel inferior.

My husband was working, and I wasn't. My husband had control of the money, the budget, where we lived, what we ate, what we did for fun and when we did it. I didn't have a say. I especially didn't have a say in getting a job and starting a path towards a career. He wanted his kids raised by me and no one else ... even though I told him all the time that I wanted to do more with my life. He didn't give two (excuse my language) fucks!

He was more "successful" if you consider it that way. He was making all the money. He was doing something with his life... even if looking back it wasn't much. He made me feel useless.

He made me feel inferior to him. I was his child... and he treated me that way.

I remember being in the store one day and walking through the store and he grabbed me by my arm and pulled me out of the way of someone who was trying to walk by.... and said, "BRITTANI you need to watch where you are going."
.... I felt like shit for the rest of the day.

Most days I felt like his maid, cook, nanny and (again excuse my language) sex toy.

This is not how a relationship should be. Relationships should be equal. The money should be shared. Decisions should be talked about and made together. No one should have to compromise their dreams and goals in life because of the other person. Regardless of who makes more money and who is more successful both people in a relationship are equally important.

You are important.
If you feel this way about your relationship I encourage you to talk to your spouse. The two of you need to be on the same page about budgets, money, dreams, goals and big decisions.
It is about respect. You are not parenting each other. You are supporting each other.



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